grrr – j has an unbelievably maddening streak of luck when it comes to yahtzee. the boy can roll 2, sometimes three yahtzees in a single game. now how’m i sposed to beat that, i ask you?

i think one of the reasons i like opera so much is because it so perfectly matches the majesty of nature’s beauty. looking out over a dazzling ocean sunset while listening to the clear, bright, soaring strains of ‘o mio babbino caro’ or taking in the view from a mountaintop to the booming reverberation of ‘nessun dorma’ – nothing else even comes close.

i’ll never forget the summer nights at central park, lying in the grass, watching the sky give way from sunset to stars while listening to the metropolitan opera perform ‘carmen’, the arias flying to the treetops, and thinking just how unbelievably perfect it was.

travelling is absolutely great for your skin. the combination of no makeup, lots of sun, and less urban pollution mean i’ve barely had a clogged pore in months. who knew?

fijians are reknowned for their traditional firewalking – it was customarily part of a religious ritual which required extensive preparation, cleansing, and meditation. in order to undertake this passage, their bodies and minds should first be in the proper state – if they have rigourously achieved this, they will feel no pain. the underlying belief is that firewalking is like life – it requires discipline, balance, clarity, optimism.

and i am reminded of my own firewalking experience. i didn’t fast or pray or carry out any sort of symbollic preparation. yet it required the same leap of faith – a trust in something greater than my own fears, a belief in the existence of something outside the boundaries of my limited knowledge of the world and its workings. is it untapped mental power? protection by the divine? complex physics?

i don’t know – and i’m not sure it matters. or that they’re not all one and the same.

what i know is this: when every ounce of experiential learning and self-preservation instinct is screaming up and down your nerve endings as your foot is poised over red hot coals… you will never take that step unless you believe in something.

and that’s where i think firewalking is like life – because it’s what we face every day when we get up in the morning. it’s that belief in something - one’s self, one’s religion, one’s environment, one’s family that keeps us waking and walking and every so often putting our fate in the hands of forces we can’t see or fully understand. maybe it’s a god. maybe it’s love. maybe it’s human instinct.

maybe it’s the physics of fire.

maybe it’s life.

“bula” – it’s a fijian word you hear everywhere you go. it’s chanted during kava drinking sessions, said in passing on the street, offered as a warm welcome to guests. it’s a greeting, a blessing, a wish, and the literal translation is “life”.

and i feel it working on me – the tension easing. i didn’t realise just how much i needed to relax until i started letting go – we’ve not spent more than 4 nights in any one place since we started this trip. we’ve been on a tear, and every second has been wonderful – but it has taken a toll. and so this is what we’re doing these two weeks – melting into the sand, staring into a blue so gloriously vivid it hurts your eyes. we could spend time seeking out the village culture, or visiting historical sights, or oging on nature hikes. there is so much more to fiji – but all i need right now, all i want is some sun in my hair and sand in my toes. i am meditating on the calm. pondering the innumerable grains of sand. gazing at endless horizons. watching sunsets. contemplating the meaning. emptying my heart and mind so the can be filled up.

just being.

sometimes, that’s all that’s required.

bula.

(the internet connection is both extremely expensive and unreliable, so updates and photos may be spotty)

… is not the stuff you left behind, but the family and friends you can’t bring with you.

having beers at sunset in fiji would be so wonderful to share with friends. wish you were here.

… never to hear another jack johnson song ever again. talk about ubiquitous.

ahhh… the warm breezes and sun will put anyone’s heart and soul at ease.

we’re on “fiji time” now, as they say, and nothing much else seems important. even the fact that we foolishly (it turns out) arrived here during the peak of high season. and since fiji is more of a “holiday” destination than a traveller-friendly hangout, this is going to hurt the wallet a bit, it would seem.

no matter – we head for one of the offshore islands tomorrow, determined to capture our slice of the white sands and turquoise waters… even if we have to eat pb&j sarnies the whole two weeks.

(since the internet connections are not fabulous, the pics will have to wait for uploading… but soon, my pretties, soon…)

stars above, black sands below, and the dark fijian ocean lapping softly at your feet.

magic.

so we’ve been making the rounds of friends, dropping in to catch up with people as we explore the central and gold coasts.

it started out with meeting up with damian, j’s old work colleague in sydney. bar-hopping as his “guests” we severely overindulged until the wee hours, only to suffer the consequences the next day. reasons the partying and backpacker lifestyle don’t mix: a) there’s nothing like waking up and realising you’ve blown two day’s food budget in an evening b) it’s so not fun waking up 20 minutes after you were supposed to have checked out, crashing around the room packing in a blind panic while still drunk c) travelling while hungover is the worst kind of naseous misery known to man. we spent gruelling hours of distance driving in the pouring rain, stopping overnight in port macquarie (and watching the poor south african springboks team get slaughtered at the hands of the aussie wallabys).

the next day we continued up to brisbane, where we spent a lovely chilled evening of dining and drinks chatting with adam (unfortunately simone had left for perth the day before), and enjoying the hotel comforts of his corporate apartment – a beautifully hot and powerful shower, and an incredibly delicious bed. sometimes all you need is a good wash and sleep to feel completely restored.

leaving brisbane, we stopped off at a koala center (where i gave myself whiplash futilely scanning the treetops) and had lunch at surfer’s paradise before arriving at nicola and ben’s house. nick and i are old travel buddies from london so we spent some time comparing stories and catching up on her new baby/wedding/house plans while ben rustled up a fab spag bol, for the four of us, plus his bro and nephew. the next morning nick took us on the grand tour of the coolangatta area, with its resident surfers and unbelievable beaches, and completely sold me on the idea of moving to australia for a year.

we continued back south, and pulled over at byron’s bay – the most easterly point of oz. we sat and soaked up the spectacular views and watched the whales off the coast before continuing on to newcastle, where we were welcomed with open arms by london ex-pat leann (blair being in nz for work). she shared her adorable and comfortable cottage with us, and the next day, in spite of the rain, we took a mini tour, warmed up with some coffees, and spent the evening cooking and chatting and draining a few bottles of vino over great conversation and even more delicious food.

then, sadly, it was time to head off to the airport. all in all, we got to see more than we’d hoped, but not as much as we would have liked. we saw a nice chunk of australia over the course of a week-long roadtrip, and shared the warmth of reunions and friendship.

and hopefully we’ll see them all again very soon.