the excitement that makes everything painful

oh happy happy happy dance! The tix are in the mail! Everything is paid and confirmed!

Work just bites, though. This is a bit of an email conversation I had with a friend recently, but I thought I’d post it here since it so succinctly captures how I am feeling lately:

Work has become insufferable. I was never the most motivated person to begin with, but now, I just resent having to leave the house every morning. I feel like standing up in the middle of my warehouse-like office and shouting, “I don’t give a shit.” Every second I spend there is a second of my life I’ll never get back, and it makes me seethe inside. I hate it with the white-hot burning intensity of a thousand suns.

So I’m wishing for a case of mono right about now – something that will get me out of the next two months of work, yet is not too painful or debilitating, and will help me drop 5 pounds or so. That’s bad: when you start praying for a communicable disease to get you out of work.

what I really want is a deus ex machina.

In the meantime, I am dilly-dallying as best I can, trying very hard not to accomplish anything. It’s getting harder, and even though J told me not to get excited until I officially hand my notice in (in three weeks), I can’t help it. But boy does it make the days drag. And drag some more. The excitement just makes everything else so painfully mundane.

still… hooray! we’re really, totally, officially going! there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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