it’s the second day of our slow boat trip down the mekong river, from chiang khong, thailand to luang prabang, laos. the river is strangely hypnotic, with it’s thick muddy whorls and eddies, its cragged shores. its size belies the power that lies just beneath the surface. even as we motor along, it pulls at us, tugging us towards the jagged rocks. fishermen in long-tail boats cast their nets. children run alongside at the banks, waving to us as we float by. women bathe neck deep. small scattered huts hint at the lives clustered close to shore. the mekong is a natural infrastructure where unpaved land and “unexploded ordnances” are a part of everyday life. the mekong *is* life, in these parts.

we stopped overnight in pak beng, a tiny smidge of a village with nothing much more than a few hasty guesthouses. people bathe at the side of the road, chickens run rampant, and the electricity only comes on between 6 and 11 pm. (”lights out” is fairly common in much of impoverished laos, where electricity is luxury.) after finding a room for the evening, we walked out to find some dinner, and somehow stumbled into a local wedding reception, where we were plied with homemade moonshine and 50 cent blaring from the stereo.

muzzy headed this morning, we’ve fortified ourselves with bottles of orangeade and baguette sandwiches, and settle into the narrow wooden benches for another eight hours. time drifts. the river drifts. we float along, pulling in at random bends and banks to let locals on or off. we take on a cargo of several hundred kilos of rice. we sleep and we eat, and we watch the river and river life. we pass through rainy patches and alternate scorching streaming sun. we gaze at the unending hils of jungle and landmines which rise up on all sides, surrounding us with heavy air and the buzz of insects so loud they pierce the drone of the motor.

the slow boat is uncomfortable and long and , true to name, slow. but it’s an essential part of the bonding process. to understand life in laos, you must understand the mekong. appreciating that is something which cannot be rushed. photos here.

becoming strangely attached to having a myriad of geckos in my bedroom

it’s just another bus trip, so similar to so many others, yet i’m once again amazed by what i see out my window. changing landscapes of flat fields or rolling mountains. banana plantations and ramshackle villages scroll by. farmers, schoolchildren, and elders – farms, schools and cemetaries. rivers and mango trees. it’s all so vastly different from my everyday world, and yet somehow, it has become my momentary everyday. and the people i watch go past – it is their everyday. these landscapes are not mine to keep, but to glimpse only as they flash by. these vignettes will soon be gone from view, existing only in my memory, soon enough. and yet, sometimes i forget this is not my ordinary world. i forget that this is extra-ordinary.

but i could watch it go by forever.

what an incredible day!

since we arrived in thailand, i’ve been trying to find a way to spend some quality time interacting with elephants, without supporting any of the practices which are so exploitative (trekking, rides, shows, etc.) I feel so strongly about respecting and caring for these gorgeous creatures that i’d sooner ride a trained tiger than get on one of the park benches strapped to the back of so many of the tourism elephants. so i was beiginning to think i’d end up leaving the country without getting up close and personal with any ellies, when i finally stumbled upon elephant nature park. it’s an organisation run by a woman named lek, and it’s so unique to these parts that it’s been featured by national geographic, the bbc, discovery channel, animal planet and others. and i consider myself so lucky to have found it too.

lek runs a sanctuary for elephants which is devoted to respecting, protecting, and caring for these giants without violence or exploitation of any type. she currently provides a home for around 30 ellies, all rescued from a variety of “work” backgrounds or orphaned. and in the course of saving these animals, she has become a one-woman crusade for changing the treatment and legal protections of elephants in thailand.

as a country which purports to revere the elephant, it is shocking to learn how few protections and resources the thai government grants them. one hundred years ago, there were 100,000 elephants in thailand – today there are fewer than 5,000. and that number is continually dropping as more elephants die from overwork and abuse. the elephant has no more protection than a common cow in the eyes of the law, and in practice, elephants are objects of property, with which the owner can do whatever they like, almost free of consequence. and so the ellies which lek rescues all come from a myriad of horror story backgrounds. deliberately blinded, victims of landmines, orphaned by poachers, shattered by tractor-trailer trucks, even addicted to speed. the one thing they all have in common, however, is as victims of the pujan. the pujan is a traditional rite for “breaking” an elephant – physically, mentally, spiritually. footage of the horrific ceremony makes grown men cry, and once you’ve seen it, it’s impossible to erase the nightmare from your memory. the elephant is isolated, bound into a crate for 4-10 days, nearly immobilised and deprived of all food and water and sleep while they undergo hour after hour of torture. they’re stabbed, burned, and beaten with knifes, nails and sticks. they’re roped and gagged and bloodied. their eyes are wild with fear and pain, and the helpless cries would haunt you. the more they resist, the worse it gets, until finally, there is no more resistance, only a shell of an animal left. wounded, traumatised, and scared. all in the name of creating a submissive elephant which will respond to commands and perform party tricks. almost every elephant undergoes this at the age of two – emerging from it much like a p.o.w., scarred, and like all victims of extreme abuse, potentially dangerous.

this custom is so widespread, yet so little known. and lek is on a mission to eradicate it, by publicising it internationally, and receiving death threats as a result. ( in fact, one of her ellies was tragically poisoned while she was in hiding, as retribution for the negative publicity – a guilt and grief she still carries with her.) she’s out to prove that elephants can be raised and trained with positive reinforcement, and to keep other ellies from enduring the pujan. she’s determined to prove that ellies can be just as profitable to tourism in their natural environment as they can performing on the streets or in trekking camps.

and so our magical day with the ellies was spent feeding them, bathing them, watching them play – just being with them, being ellies. which is really all the universe intended for them in the first place.

again, i can’t endorse lek’s work highly enough. if these stories moved you, please consider donating to her cause. she’s an incredible woman doing incredible things, and i am in awe of her passion and commitment. see the rest of the photos here.

in the “it’s a small blogosphere” category, we met a couple named tim and jessica at the elephant park, and as we we’re talking, i couldn’t shake the feeling that i knew them from somewhere. then, suddenly it hit me: i’d been reading their round-the-world blog before we left on our trip! it was all a bit surreal. we had a great time chatting with them, and wish them well on the last leg of their journey.

the thai are really lovely people – genuinely interested in you and where you’re from (even when they’re not trying to sell you something).

they are, however, ridiculous drivers.

i’ve been trying to think of some uniquely thai cultural observations, but i think that coming off the culture shock of china, thailand feels so… easy to acclimate to, that it’s a bit unfair; i feel like i haven’t given them my full attention or appreciation. so to rectify this, here’s my “top ten things i love about thailand”:

1. the weather – even when it’s raining, it feels exotic and sultry.

2. the beaches – a bit obvious, i know, but they’re beautiful.

3. buddhism – the more i learn, the more i want to know. i took a uni class on buddhism (way back when i was seriously thinking of being a religion major) but this requires some further personal exploration on my part.

4. the architecture – so elegantly soothing to the eye.

5. the street food – we’ve regularly eaten some of the best food from pushcart vendors. pancakes, curries, noodles. yum.

6. papaya salad – i’m addicted.

7. the people are so damn gorgeous.

8. motorbikes – schoolchildren, women in coifs, heels and gloss, little old men who can barely see over the handlebars. everyone drives them. the well co-ordinated drive whilst holding umbrellas.

9. their complete and utter devotion to their king. boy, they sure do love him.

10. songthaews – why don’t we have these in london? cheaper than taxis, more trustworthy than tuk-tuks, these open trucks are hop-on/hop-off shared rides and one of the best ways to get from point a to point b.

so there you have it. i adore thailand, and if i haven’t waxed lyrical, it’s only because it’s so easy to take it for granted. it’s warm and welcoming, and delightful in every way, and i will be very sad to say goodbye. luckily our next flight is out of bangkok, so i don’t have to, just yet.

the most useful things i have packed, to date:

- anti-bacterial hand gel. j, who originally scoffed at the idea, has since apologised profusely, after god knows how many atrocious bus stop toilets and no soap anywhere in sight.

- my ipod travel charger. worth its weight in gold.

- my hooded fleece. invaluable on bus trips, train trips, and protecting me from dodgy headrests.

most useless things i packed, to date:

-travel skirt. never worn, very practical but too frumpy.

-even the *minute* amount of makeup i brought. i assumed there would be days i’d still want to “look nice”. i stopped caring after about day 10.

-travel money belt. never used. see “daybag” below.

useful things picked up along the way:

-travel speakers. cost 5 pounds. ambiance in charmless hotel rooms… priceless.

-sarong. it’s a beach blanket/cover up/top sheet (i cannot sleep without a top sheet, and much like hot water showers, those are nowhere to be found in s.e.a.)

single most useful item: my messenger bag. all items of value (camera/ipod/wallet/passport/tickets) are on my body at all times. also permanently in the day bag are toilet paper, hand gel, lip balm, small notebook (for tracking expenses), pens, and guidebook. optional weather-dependent items are umbrella, bandana, suncream. for journeys also included are: paperback novel, book light, large notebook (for writing), fleece jumper, and assorted snacks/water. that bag is my life – much more important than my pack, and far more versatile.

we’re here in chiang mai after another long overnight bus ride (how they can turn a 450 km trip into a 12 hour journey is beyond me, but whatever…) and we’re here for 5 days while we get some errands sorted. i’ve come to the realisation that 4 days is pretty much my limit anywhere before i start to get antsy. so although it’s a nice enough city, chiang mai is frustrating me only halfway through day 2. part of it is due to malaria med complications – i bought some lariam in bangkok, but only a few because some people have bad side effects, so i didn’t want to sink a lot of money into them if i only ended up quitting them. fortunately, i have had no problems with them. unfortunately, i now cannot get any more here in chiang mai, as the official advice is *not* to take chemical prophylaxis (this from the malaria center) and instead get tested after being in a malarial area, and treated only if you’ve picked it up. so i can get lariam after i get sick, but not before. not what i wanted to hear. so i’ve been trying random pharmacies with no luck and kicking myself for not just buying them when i could. (part of me thinks that if i haven’t got malaria by now, i never will – my ankles are an unrecognisable pulpy mess, despite loads of deet.) part of it is jonno’s “wat fatigue” – he’s just not interested in seeing another buddha, no matter how old or historic. part of it is the heat and afternoon rains, which make aimlessly walking the city for hours on end (our favourite pasttime) a lot less fun. all in all, chiang mai is feeling a whole lot like kunming – someplace perfectly nice where i just don’t wanna be. sigh. there is the possible prospect of visiting an elephant sanctuary (after extensive research on my part, because if i see some mahout with a stick talking about “training”, i will *not* be a happy camper) but we may have left it too late to book. we have to idle here until friday (vietnam visas take their own sweet time to arrive) and i’m just a grumpy gus.

the abuse and exploitation of the elephants i’ve seen thus far really just breaks my heart. i can’t take it. babies separated from their mommas in the jungle and paraded through the streets of bangkok, crying piteously. elephants chained by the leg in the hot sun, waiting for dumbass ignorant tourists to ride them like common pack mules, being beaten with sticks.

elephants are not domesticated, nor do they exist for our amusement. it kills me to see them treated that way. i really can’t take it.

j’s known you both forever, but i am still amazed at how quickly you’ve become so important in my life. it meant the world to me to have you at our wedding – because even if my immediate family couldn’t make it, my “other” family was there. and i would give anything to be able to be there to witness your happiness today.

it shouldn’t be such a big deal, because, as you’ll soon learn, in the grand scheme of a marriage, a wedding is really just another day – it’s just verbally cementing everything you already know in your heart to be true. everything you already knew the first time you realised you were in love, or that you didn’t want to live your lives without each other. those were far more important days than today. a wedding day can’t possibly reflect everything that makes a relationship real, and the million different ways you already reaffirm that, day in and day out. it can’t possibly demonstrate the same kind of commitment that happens every morning you wake up next to each other and decide to try to be good to one another, to work through the differences during each day, and to end every evening kissing goodnight – that’s far more important than any silly ceremony. it’s an inevitably ineffectual attempt to put to words all the small things that make a couple who they are together which makes them better people than they are individually, a feeble try at quantifying the certainty of a future, a paltry effort to describe the emotions which run deeper than any language. it’s a fancy way to try to announce to the world that all your love and dreams and hopes are wrapped up in the other person, and that you put your whole soul into that investment. and somehow expecting the words “i do” to encapsulate all that.

when you’re already sure of all of everything else, then a wedding is just another day. it shouldn’t matter because it really changes nothing… yet somehow it changes everything.

and it sure as hell is fun.

happy wedding day.

with all my loving wishes for a lifetime of happily ever after,
jen

we’re in kanchanaburi, at the famous bridge over the river kwai. and although there’s not much to actually see, somehow that’s even more moving. thirty eight POWs died for every kilometre of track that was laid – and in the end, the brits sold it back to the thais like so much scrap metal, for 50 million baht. less than a million pounds.

the things men do in the name of war do not speak to how highly we prize our life and liberties, but rather to how little we value the lives and freedoms of others.

war cheapens us all.